I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
