You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
