so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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