i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
