love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
