I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
