that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
