The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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