i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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