Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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