Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
