I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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