it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There r osticjed everywhere
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
