Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize