how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
