but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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