I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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