I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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