I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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