Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
