Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He felt like a one man threesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
