nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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