Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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