It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
