these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
