I'm drive I can fine osifer
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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