well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
