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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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• (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  How are you feeling today?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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• (626): View more from California

  The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.

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• (510): View more from California

  I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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• (509): View more from Washington

  So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.

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• (650): View more from California

  He's petting your head, we need to leave now.

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• (949): View more from California

  You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.

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