I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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