I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
