the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
