she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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