omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
