We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
