We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
