oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
