i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
