When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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