i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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