ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
