bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
