I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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