Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just found a bag of teeth...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
