Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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