he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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