So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
