Kiss
Puke
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
