Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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