Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
