My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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