Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
