I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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