Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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