He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
