Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
