You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
