every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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