Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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