I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The Olympian is in my bed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
