and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
