hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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