So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think your dad took our porno
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
