i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
