clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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