Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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