What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
