I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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