I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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