So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
