hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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